preparing for the bumpy night

Double, double toil and trouble
Fire burn and cauldron bubble!
         — from Macbeth

At the beginning of a new year, I am troubled, deeply troubled, by all the trouble I hear and see on the daily news.  I worry that today’s troubles will indeed be doubled tomorrow. 

As I growl and hiss at “those idiots” in the news, I may feel I can’t do much to change the worst of what I see.

But before I go into a full-fledged fit, I’ll remind myself:

“Okay, maybe your power is limited, but you can help the world by working to become a better person.”

But what does that mean?  How do I work to become a better person?  Well, basically it goes like this…

I try to see my flaws instead of projecting them onto “the other”…Then I work on fixing those flaws, knowing real change can only happen slowly…

I try to deal with my inner conflict…I try to go below my anger and deal with the pain that drives that anger…

I try to accept the grief that comes with being a human being.  I know if I don’t, the grief may sneak up and pull me under.

That’s pretty much it—what I do.  Maybe you noticed how the word “try” kept popping up.  Yeah, it’s a real struggle. 

But to be honest, sometimes I don’t really try that hard—or try hard enough. 

But though I often lapse, I never give up.  And I never will.  I won’t because I want to feel I’m doing a little something to benefit our world. 

Of course, I also try for my own benefit.  Over time, I’ve realized the obvious: as I slowly become more of the person I want to be, I actually feel better.  Emotionally, physically.  In spirit.

Which I guess is another way of saying: I feel stronger.  I’m becoming stronger. 

Which is needed, because as Bette Davis said in All About Eve:

It’s going to be a bumpy night!

And the only one who can fasten my seat belt is me.

I’m Responsible: a book
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© 2024, Michael R. Patton

the parallel me

People have speculated about the possibility of a parallel universe…

I know that universe is real.  I know a man who lives there.  I can’t see him, but I can feel him.  So near.  Yet just out of reach.

I feel him as he walks alongside me.  We move on parallel paths.  I can feel his peace.  He is as I wish to be.  And so, I keep trying to draw him closer.

And at times, I do manage merge our two universes, our two paths.  The other person then takes possession of me.  But not in a demonic way, no—in those brief-but-blessed moments, I become the better human being I dream of being. 

How can I describe him?  Consider these special qualities:

He defends herself.  But without ever striking back…

He knows the blow aimed at him is not actually aimed at him. He knows the blow is only an expression of pain.  And so, he’s never actually wounded by a blow. 

Like me, he wants to nurture the world.  But unlike me, he’s not afraid to express that feeling.  People sometimes think he is a she when he nurtures.  But he doesn’t care what they think.  Unlike me.

Like me, he knows sometimes you must stand and sometimes you must sit.  The difference is: he sits without regret.  And stands without hesitation. 

So how is he able to be as he is?

Well, unlike me, he’s resolved some key inner conflicts.

Not so easy to resolve those conflicts.  You can’t just flip a switch.  I know—I’ve tried.

Sometimes, in frustration, I ask myself, Why do I even bother to struggle?

But then I’ll feel that parallel man beside me.  I’ll remember those blessed moments when our paths merge—when I manage to become as he is.  I’ll remember that sense of strength, the sense of freedom. 

Then I’ll know why I refuse to stop trying. 

Get the Message: a short guide for understanding dreams
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© 2023, Michael R. Patton

what I learned from the unexpected visitors

After I saw these foxes early one Saturday morning…

…I begin to think about “Fox” as a symbol.

In my culture, they represent cleverness, cunning, maybe deceit.  That sly fox may indeed trick you into letting him guard the hen house. 

So since that’s what Fox means to us, that’s what Fox has meant to me.

But after seeing the two foxes, I see Fox a bit differently.

In those creatures, I saw not cunning, but innocence.  And awareness—so alert they were to the sights and sounds and smells in their environment.

Then when they began to run, I witnessed their natural elegance.  How lightly, gracefully they moved on their quick feet. 

But what I liked most was their playfulness.  Not just how they play, but where they play.

They’re not limiting their play to some type of fox playground.  Some fox park or gym.

No, they play as they go along.  Not all the time, but much of the time.  And with them, play can break out in an instant. 

They play as they move through the world.  Play is a natural part of their lives.  And apparently, a helpful part.  Their ancestors played and prospered.

I like to imagine the foxes visited me to deliver that message about play.  But the truth is, they seemed to see me as a curious thing, but not so important.  Nonetheless, the message was there for the taking.  Fortunately, by now I know: we can learn from the creatures around us.

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© 2023, Michael R. Patton

why Adam and Eve were bored

Ever since Adam and Eve were cast out of The Garden, we’ve been asking…

Why did they do as they did? 

Why did they eat from that tree!

Though they didn’t know what God might do, they could guess there’d be repercussions.

Are humans just naturally ornery?

Maybe so, but I don’t think that’s the answer…

I think Adam and Eve were bored. 

Alone among the animals, they were bored.

No, the bullfrog wasn’t bored.

Nor was the crow.

Nor was the aardvark.

They were at peace in The Garden.

But the two human beings were not.  They wanted something more. 

But what?

They knew not what…

…just something more than what they had.

Okay, but why?—why did they want something more?

The bullfrog didn’t want something more.

Nor did the crow.

Nor did the aardvark.

The Garden gave them all that they needed. 

I should know why Adam and Eve needed more, shouldn’t I?  After all, they were humans and I’m a human too.  And like them, I’ve often felt the need for something more.

And sometimes when I feel that need, I’m willing to shake things up. 

Yes, I will wake up, though I know I’ll lose sleep…

Yes, I will rise, I know I’ll need to leave my comfort zone….

Yes, I will go, though I know I’ll find what Adam and Eve found when they left The Garden:

Hardship, conflict, pain. 

The trouble that comes from facing new challenges.

Apparently, I want those challenges.  I believe…

…I’m driven from within to become a better human being.  To satisfy that drive, I need challenges.

I believe, like me, Adam and Eve wanted challenges.  Apparently, both felt the need to become a better human being.  

And when I look around and see how difficult we make life for ourselves, I say:

Alone among the animals, we keep trying to become a better species.

The bullfrog doesn’t try because…

…the bullfrog doesn’t need to become a better bullfrog.

The crow doesn’t try because…

…the crow doesn’t need to become a better crow.

The aardvark doesn’t try because…

…that’s right: the aardvark doesn’t need to become a better aardvark.

But we humans try because…

…obviously we need to become better human beings.

Why would God create such a creature?  A creature that always needs to be better, no matter how much it improves?

I don’t know…maybe God was bored.

40 New Fables
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© 2023, Michael R. Patton